All parents need to know how to calm down kids anywhere and at any time. And if your calming strategy is not up to scratch, you are in the right place today. We will discuss how to stop tantrums and meltdowns using positive parenting tips including toddler tantrum tips and a calming action plan to help you take back control. And a free calming tool printable to save for later.
Can I have this toy mommy? Your son asks …
I want this toy mommy! He says with conviction … twice …
I really want this toy mommy! He yells … thrice … and every shopper in your vicinity starts to stare…
I need this toy mommy! He demands … and the older couple in front of you raise their eyebrows discerning …
Why not? It’s not fair mommy, you never want to buy me anything! Everyone now on full alert not to miss the exciting commotion …
You are the worst mom ever! … KABOOM …
Fireworks exploding!
Your patience level has reached its end. You are starting to see red lights and can already imagine the inevitable battle …
Sounds familiar?
It sure does to me, and I’m certain to many other parents alike. Including you?
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How to calm down your child
Time to discover our best calm down secret, that works every time …
The question today is not whether you had this experience before or will have to face it in the near future, but rather how you will react when it does happen.
Let’s consider a couple of options
- do you leave your son kicking and screaming as you walk on pretending that he is not your child …
- do you yell even louder than him, telling him to stop making a scene …
- or, do you have a power calming technique to defuse situations like these, and know-how to calm down your child, easily?
I am hoping you can choose the last alternative.
And if not, don’t worry, that is exactly what you will learn today:
An easy strategy to help you know how to calm down your child under any circ*mstance. And, even better, teach you to recognize pandemonium before it hits. And restore calm, prior to it reaching explosive levels.
Another little secret …
Yes, we need a calm down strategy when our kids are out of control. But sometimes – preferably when we’re not in the midst of a tantrum – we should try to recognize what triggers our kids’ meltdowns. Of course, the first things to consider are whether our kids are
- hungry
- dehydrated
- overstimulated or
- emotionally burdened
However, have you considered that YOU, inadvertently, might be triggering your kids’ poor behavior? Scary I know. But unfortunately a plausible alternative. Read Little Secret, Big Change if you’re willing to face your fears. But only if you are ready to handle the truth.
Time to dig into the truths behind an effective calming strategy
The calm down action plan
you will discover here will help you learn how to
- understand the cool zones of calming down
- know your mission, including when to maintain or restore calm and
- implement your action steps
Let’s start with the basics
Understanding calm versus pandemonium
and of course the zones in between
In general kids transition through three mental zones of control. For the purpose of this strategy, we’ll refer to them as cool zones.Before learning how to handle explosive situations, we need to understand these cool zones preceding and including the potential uproar.
the green zone
This is the cool zone we want our kids to occupy.
The green zone is a calm and comfortable environment, where kids feel safe, relaxed and without worry.
the orange zone
This midway cool zone is an integral part of our kids’ calm mental wellbeing.
When our kids enter this cool zone, they need to exit it again. And this exodus happens either back towards the cool green zone or potentially into the next, hazardous red zone.
As a parent, we can spare ourselves a lot of heartaches being able to gently help our kids transition from orange back to green as opposed to further along into the red zone.
the red zone
Yes, you guessed it. The red zone embraces danger.
Ruthless tantrums are born amidst this zone of despair. And it does not only include terror and anxiety for our kids but also for us as parents.
This zone warrants immediate distractive action.
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Our mission as parents
is to keep kids in the green zone as far as possible.
But because life is full of ups and downs, kids will travel between these zones, numerous times every single day.
And, since we can only, to a certain extent, regulate the external factors influencing this ride, we have to be able to help our kids shift back to the safe green zone with little effort.
Knowing how to calm down your kids amidst any stressful situation is the golden ticket.
And, the first step to helping your kids with this transition is by distracting them and introducing a relevant activity, based on their current zone.
What kind of activity works when
Let’s discuss the kind of activity and purpose of your actions within each particular zone.
mission one
Your aim should be to always help your kids remain in this safe zone whenever possible.
Changing in-between zones are inevitable though, and as long as you know how to gently transition your kids from one to the other, your life will be a lot easier.
Proposed activities to maintain calm
- relax with yoga
- hug my mom because it makes me feel safe and relaxed
- any relaxing activity like reading a book to keep me at ease
TOP TIP
Use books to teach kids how to handle big emotions. Here are a couple of our favorites:
- train your angry dragon
- listening to my body
- breath like a bear
- Simon and the big, bad, angry beasts
- no more tantrums
mission two
When your child enters this zone you have to help them shift back to the safe green zone earlier rather than later.
By restoring calm swiftly you will avoid the potential red zone entry altogether.
Proposed activities to restore calm
- draw how I feel, to help me understand and voice my emotions
- count my fingers to distract me
- close my eyes and imagine my favorite toy to help me imagine my safe zone and transition back into it
mission three
Remember this is the zone where tantrums and difficult to handle anger breakouts breed. Always try your best to limit entry into the red zone.
And when it is imminent, be proactive with activities to restore calm as soon as possible.
It is important to complete the transition not only into the orange zone but all the way back into the green, safe zone.
Proposed activities to restore calm
- practice breathing, nose in and mouth out, five times
- hop like a bunny, ten times
- squeeze my thumbs, six times
All these activities are physical diversions to distract attention and shift focus.
Clever ways to avoid the red zone
- have an effective discipline approach
- practice emotional freedom techniques – tapping on pressure points
- eat healthy foods at regular intervals
- establish routine
- practice healthy habits
- enforce sleep limits
- keep kids hydrated
- understand how we can be the cause of a meltdown
Your calm down action steps
You now have the necessary tools to diffuse any red hot situation with the following three simple action steps
- determine the severity or establish the current zone
- distract attention by having your child acknowledge the zone they are in
- do an activity to either keep the calm or restore it
Let’s discuss these three important action steps in more detail
step one
Decide how bad the situation is by pinpointing the relevant zone. Doing this will put the situation into perspective and help you choose your next step.
step two
Includes two important aspects of handling big emotions.
- the first is distracting attention and
- the second is mastering the life skill of acknowledging feelings
Help your kids get sidetracked from the problem by asking them to identify the zone they think they are in. This will remove them from the immediate situation and distract them momentarily.
Within this diverted moment, you need to introduce an activity to help them jump back into the previous zone, often without them even realizing.
If you don’t use this moment to distract and transition, they will inevitably hurtle forward into the next zone, from which it is a bit more difficult to exit.
step three
This step is determined by the starting point zone. When they are in the
green zone
maintain calm with an appropriate activity
orange zone
restore calm with little effort by introducing a related activity in the current zone, followed by an activity in the green zone to maintain calm.
red zone
restore calm as quickly as possible by doing a red zone activity with them. Follow this activity with one from the orange and thereafter a green zone activity to maintain calm.
How to calm down your child summarized
Let’s put this all together for easy reference
Have an action planon how to calm down your kids
- understand the cool zones
- know your mission including when to maintain or restore calm
- implement your action steps
- determine the severity or establish the current zone
- distract attention by having your child acknowledge the zone they are in
- do an activity to either keep the calm or restore it
Easy as that!
To help you implement the calming technique and take control of tantrums and meltdowns, save this handy infographic on how to calm kids down. It comes in an easy-to-use pdf format for you to print and save and take control of your kids’ behavior.
I hope after reading this post you can now say you know how to calm down your child at any time and anywhere.
Please leave a comment below
and let me know your biggest struggle on how to calm down your kids
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